Do you ever feel the same way I do?

To others, it seems like I’m always moving forward—constantly learning and growing, with incredible self-discipline.

But deep down, I know that often, I’m not actually doing things I truly enjoy; instead, I’m being driven forward by anxiety.

I’m afraid of falling behind, afraid of making the wrong choice, afraid of being different from others, afraid of others seeing how ordinary I am—and most of all, afraid that if I stop, I’ll lose control.

Fear used to dominate my life. Even when my body was exhausted, I didn’t dare to stop.

It wasn’t until recently, while studying *The Navar Guide*, that I realized:

Only when we are no longer controlled by fear can we enjoy a true sense of relaxation.

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01，Behind All That Hard Work，Is Fear Driving Us Forward

The Navar Guide presents this perspective:

A person’s life is nothing more than a series of games.

Many of the competitive games we participate in are, at their core, zero-sum games—where someone wins and someone else loses.

Looking back at my own situation now, I realize I’ve actually been constantly participating in zero-sum games.

For example, when I see others get promoted or receive a raise, I feel anxious, so I work even harder—only to end up exhausting my body.

When I see others achieving results in a new field, I start to hesitate about whether I should switch fields too...

Much of my effort seems to be for a better future, but in reality, I’m passively escaping my inner fears.

I dare not stop—afraid of failure, afraid of being judged by others—and I’m constantly comparing myself to others.

This leaves me constantly on edge, unable to let go.

Even when I achieve good results, I only experience fleeting joy before I start running again to escape new fears.

Deeply entrenched in this zero-sum game of comparison—chasing after goals out of fear and competing out of obsession—one can never truly relax, but can only move forward passively, consumed by exhaustion.

True, lasting growth without internal friction comes from replacing a “risk-averse mindset” with a “player’s mindset.”

Naval advises us to find that one thing which, to others, is hard work, but to us, is effortless play.

When something brings you genuine joy from the heart and you’re willing to delve deeply into it, you won’t need to rely on willpower to push through, let alone force yourself forward out of anxiety.

Others persevere through suffering; we immerse ourselves through passion. This is the core source of the gap in growth between people.

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02，The Root of Internal Strain

Lies in Layers of Obsession

I’ve discovered that what truly wears people down is never the effort itself, but the layers of obsession hidden behind that effort.

Fear is a human instinct—a self-preservation mechanism.

If we allow fear to control us, it will breed endless internal conflict.

Much of my anxiety and internal conflict in the past stemmed from my obsession with not falling behind, not performing poorly, and not being inferior to others.

This was exactly the case when I first started writing articles for my WeChat public account. I wrote 10 articles, each with only double-digit views, while others produced a viral hit after just three posts.

At the time, I began to doubt myself, thinking I wasn’t capable enough and that I’d never be able to write a decent article...

These obsessions caused my desires to keep growing, making me constantly feel that my current self and my current life weren’t good enough.

As *The Navar Manual* says:

Desire is a contract you sign with yourself: you must remain unhappy until you get what you want.

Constant internal conflict and an inability to relax don’t stem from an imperfect life, but from our active choice to keep ourselves perpetually in a state of “incompletion and dissatisfaction.”

Much of this internal conflict arises from our tendency to play along with others’ life games.

We habitually compare ourselves to others’ lives, follow conventional standards, treat others’ pace as our own race track, and view others’ success as our own pressure.

Life is, at its core, a solo game.

All the joys, sorrows, and life choices can ultimately only be experienced and borne by ourselves.

The pace of others’ lives and societal judgments should not be the shackles that bind us.

We ourselves are the sole protagonists of our lives.

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03，The Core of True Freedom

Is Letting Your True Self Guide Your Choices

Naval believes that happiness is never the result of a deliberate pursuit, but rather an instinctive state that emerges once we cast off our shackles.

True relaxation isn’t about giving up or letting things slide; nor is it about abandoning effort—it’s about reclaiming control over your own life.

I wholeheartedly agree.

When I’m on the path of reading and writing and feel wavering inside, I ask myself, “Do I enjoy this? Am I willing to stay focused and keep at it even if I don’t receive positive feedback for a long time?”

Every time, my answer to myself is “yes.”

Now, I’ve gradually begun to live with a “player’s mindset.”

The true essence of “play,” I believe, is this: not competing for victory or defeat, not obsessing over outcomes, but simply delighting in and enriching oneself.

Allowing myself to be ordinary, accepting my imperfections, and growing slowly at my own pace.

When the heart is free of fear, the rest of life is filled with ease and joy.

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In Closing

Shao Yong of the Northern Song Dynasty wrote in “Ode to Peace of Mind”: 

When the mind is at peace, the body is at ease; when the body is at ease, the home feels spacious.

Only when the mind is free from shackles can one grow freely; when anxiety fades, life becomes a smooth path.

With a fearless heart, one faces all matters with composure; living well is the best form of “play.”

The best state of life is to cast off the shackles, live earnestly, and “play” freely throughout one’s life.